Caring for a loved one during the holidays can be challenging but, with a little planning and thoughtful communication, you can help them enjoy the season while ensuring their needs are met. Here are some tips to help you make it through the holiday season with more joy…and less stress.
The holidays are filled with gatherings, but these can be overwhelming for someone receiving care. Start by listing events that your loved one usually enjoys, such as family dinners, church services, or small parties. Determine which events would be most comfortable for them based on their health, mobility, and mental state. It’s essential to communicate with family members about your loved one’s capabilities and any adjustments that may need to be made. When everyone understands what to expect, it can help avoid unexpected disruptions and ensure a relaxed atmosphere.
Holiday plans can get hectic, so try to be flexible. For example, a morning care routine might need to start earlier if there’s a lunch outing planned. If a caregiver is hired for your loved one, communicate holiday scheduling needs early. Caregivers may also have holiday schedules, so check their availability in advance. For in-home care, if there will be a lot of visitors, it might help to coordinate with the caregiver to give them extra support during busier times, or consider additional help for specific days.
Busy holiday gatherings can be tiring for those receiving care. Plan for periods where your loved one can step away and have some quiet time. For instance, after a big meal or a holiday game, provide a designated room for them to rest. Include it in the schedule so everyone knows when it’s time to give them a break. If family members know the schedule includes this downtime, they’re more likely to be mindful of your loved one’s needs and help maintain a calm environment.
Holiday foods are often yummy but can be too rich or sugary for those with dietary restrictions. Make sure that during family dinners and events, your loved one has access to foods that align with their dietary needs. Coordinate with the host to prepare some familiar, healthy options, and encourage them to drink plenty of water, as dehydration can easily happen during busy days. If your loved one is on medication, check that their dietary needs align with what’s being served. This can help avoid any potential adverse reactions and keep them comfortable.
Keeping holiday traditions alive is important for both caregivers and loved ones, but it may require some adjustments. Consider which traditions can be kept and which might need modifying. For instance, if your family has always baked cookies together, try a smaller batch that doesn’t require standing in the kitchen for long periods. If gift-giving is a big part of your family’s tradition, consider practical gifts for your loved one, such as cozy blankets, slippers, or items that support their care. Making slight adjustments can still keep the holiday spirit alive while accommodating their physical and mental limitations.
Instead of focusing on losses and what you and/or your loved ones are NOT able to do, try doing something new. If they have trouble getting around, drive through a holiday light display or watch a holiday concert on TV. If you can’t make it to a holiday gathering, have a video chat. Start a home holiday movie night tradition, or watch old home movies and relish the memories. Are your loved ones unable to participate in decorating this year? Turn up the holiday music and invite a friend over to help and make it more festive. Your loved ones can be nearby to watch and cheer you on.
If your loved one’s care involves travel, things can get complicated. When planning transportation, consider their mobility and any accessibility needs. Ensure they have any required medical equipment, such as walkers or wheelchairs, and double-check that venues are accessible. If you’re traveling far, carry extra medication, medical records, and contact information for their primary care provider in case of an emergency. Notify airlines about any special assistance they may need. Make frequent stops on road trips to allow them to stretch and stay comfortable.
The holidays often bring extended family together, and this can be a great time to share the caregiving responsibilities. Delegate specific tasks to willing family members, such as keeping your loved one company, assisting them with meals, or helping them get to and from events. If possible, create a schedule or a list of caregiving duties that can be shared among trusted friends and family. This can ease the load on primary caregivers and allow everyone to bond with the loved one in a meaningful way.
While the holidays can be exciting, overstimulation may overwhelm your loved one. Plan calm activities that don’t involve too many people, or loud noises. Reading a holiday book, watching a classic holiday movie, or enjoying a quiet walk can be soothing alternatives to larger events. If your loved one has dementia, simple sensory activities like listening to carols, decorating a small tree, or lighting candles can create a warm holiday atmosphere without causing stress.
Family and friends may want to spend time with your loved one, but it’s good to set realistic expectations about how much they can handle. Let them know about any limitations beforehand, whether it’s physical, cognitive, or emotional. Some family members might not fully understand the changes in your loved one’s condition, so educating them on what’s manageable can be helpful. Boundaries create a more comfortable experience for everyone, and by managing expectations, you can protect your loved one from becoming exhausted or uncomfortable.
Caregiving during the holidays requires flexibility. Plans may need to change at the last minute depending on your loved one’s health or energy levels. Try to be adaptable, and don’t be discouraged if things don’t go perfectly. Celebrate the small moments, like sharing a favorite holiday song or watching your loved one smile at a family memory. Practicing patience with your loved one and yourself can help everyone enjoy the holiday spirit in a more meaningful way.
As caregivers, we give and give and give – during the holidays we give even more. Beware of extreme emotional ups and downs, fatigue, foggy thinking and an inability to sit still or the opposite – feeling frozen and unable to get anything done, or the urge to just run away. Seek counseling or talk to your doctor if you’re feeling depressed or anxious. When we’re busy it’s easy to let self-care slip just as we need it most. Get plenty of good quality sleep, and keep moving: Walk with loved ones in a decorated shopping mall, or dance to holiday music.
Sources:
AARP
Carespring
Cleveland Clinic
Yale Medicine
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